Season’s End…And, a few funnies!

Well, the 2018-2019 hunting season will officially ended. I have to admit that I had my doubts about even being able to have a hunting season. However, Cader IV, Jerry, Greg, and our team pulled off an absolute miracle in being able to open up enough hunting courses to safely hunt. We had to cancel the first two weeks of season due to no power and water. Once we opened back up, we tried to limit our number of hunters to 24-26 rather than 30-32 due to course availability and rotation. Come Monday, we have laid out and will begin a plan that should make it impossible for you to even know we had a hurricane by this fall. The management team has an excellent plan in place, and I am excited about what they plan to do. We are going to pass on planting sweet corn this year so that we can concentrate every person and resource on our primary business, which is running the premier quail hunting operation in the country. I am so blessed that my succession plan with my son worked out. I do not believe that I have the stamina to do what all they have planned for this spring and summer.

 

As many of you know, our guests come from all over the country and the world. From time to time, they send me funny quotes and comments that are just too good not to share even though you have probably seen some of them. Let me begin these by saying, like James Comey, “I swear to tell whatever version of the truth that will keep me from being murdered by the Clintons.” And in this case, I am going to have to hope that Martha will not murder me for a few of these quotes!

 

This first group of sayings all revolve around politics:

  1. We have a Booker, a Hooker, and an Indian (theoretically) running for president. We are just one cowboy short of The Village People singing group of years ago.
  2. Bill Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 while Donald Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000. Now, who would you want negotiating for our country? I believe that Trump is about to bring China to its knees.
  3. Martha Stewart went to jail for lying to the FBI one time while Hillary lied 39 times.
  4. Speaking of Hillary, have you ever noticed that NO ONE has ever claimed to have sex with her?
  5. People who confuse the words “burro” with “burrow” don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.

 

Now, on to some of my favorites about women, wives, and marriage. This is where I am praying that Martha can find her funny bone. Otherwise, I will be booking a flight on the new Boeing jet that has been grounded due to crashes.

  1. Behind every angry woman, stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  2. Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that- “This conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes.” Some things are better left unsaid, and I usually realize it right after I say them.
  3. If a woman says “First Of All” during an argument, run away as fast as you can because she has prepared research, data, charts, and will destroy you.
  4. One of my favorites- A wise man once said NOTHING.
  5. And my last favorite- Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.

 

I have about 8-10 more that are both political and relating to women, but I think that I will wait to see if I survive this blog. In closing, I simply can’t thank our loyal guests who stuck with us this season, and almost every single one of them did, and rebooked for next year. We value and appreciate your loyalty more than you will ever know. May God bless you and your families with a beautiful spring!