I have about put the finishing touches on my Summer Scene newsletter. I will hold it for a while to see if I want to make any revisions, but I am fairly satisfied with it now. Because of that, I feel free to write a short blog that will not include any of my Summer Scene thoughts. Most of my comments are things that I have read recently that either resonated with me, or made me laugh.
Has anyone ever considered the fact that a gun in the hand is worth more than the entire police force on the phone? The fastest response time that we could get out here in the country is 25 minutes from our local sheriff’s office. I would be dead and robbed by the time the law enforcement folks arrive. The scariest years in my life was when I had my own young children living at home. Martha and I decided that we would choose robbery and maybe even death over one of our children accidentally shooting themselves with one of my weapons. So, all of my guns stayed locked up in one place while the shells were locked in another place. If the would be burglars would let me call “time out”, I might have a slim chance of getting to a loaded weapon. But, I don’t think that the bad guys play by the rules. I now have one loaded pistol that is hidden, and it is too high for even my thirteen-year-old triplets to reach. I sleep better now!
I just found out that Cader IV intends to build a chicken coop, and allow his children to have 5-8 chickens. I gave him one good piece of advice. Never give a single chicken a name, or you will never be able to eat her. I once had a pet goat named Billy. Unbeknownst to me, my parents killed Billy and served him up one Fourth of July. I believe that they had intended to tell me that Billy had run away as I was only four years old at the time. However, my, at that time, cruel older sister asked me how I enjoyed my meal. When I told her how good it tasted she said, “Well, I certainly hope so because you just ate Billy.” I was scarred for life, but her little butt got scarred pretty good also by Pop. It’s hard to believe how much my big sister means to me as an adult because she certainly enjoyed making my life miserable when I was a child.
The following items, in no particular order, just struck my funny bone. Let me add before starting them that I have not checked out the veracity of any of these comments that I am unable to attribute the person who said it ; so some of these facts may or may not be accurate:
- I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. I am not meaning to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
- Candace Owens said, “You know that you live in a great country when the people who absolutely detest it refuse to leave.”
- I was thinking that if you rob a bank in a Sanctuary City, is it illegal or is it just an undocumented withdrawal?
- Now this one really tickled me because I can relate to it. A bookseller was conducting a survey, and asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in life?” The woman quickly replied, “My husband’s checkbook.” OUCH!
- I sometimes talk to myself because there are times when I need expert advice.
- And, this last quote really hit the nail on the head for me. “So when is this ‘Old Enough to Know Better’ supposed to kick in?” I am almost 70 and I’m still waiting on it.
Just in closing, let me update you on our progress here. We have very few courses remaining to get in pristine condition from Hurricane. Our guys have really busted their butts on this project. You should also know that spring is about to be over here in South Georgia. Our temps are predicted to be in the low 90’s for a ten-day period beginning tomorrow. Along with the heat and humidity, comes the dreaded gnats. I am convinced that these pests could have won the Civil War for us if we could have staged the battle in Southwest Georgia because the Yankees would have been too busy swatting at gnats to aim their rifles. That is how I manage to beat CB COX V in softball. I wait until he begins fanning gnats to pitch the ball. He hasn’t figured it out yet since he is playing so well on his team, and he NEVER strikes out. But, they play their games at night when the gnats have gone to bed. I play him in the heat of the day when he gets home from school, and he has yet to figure it out. He must be a bit like I was when I ate Billy.
I hope everyone is enjoying a delightful spring. We surely have up until tomorrow when summer arrives in our part of the world!